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Making Mistakes is a Parenting Strategy

Feb 13, 2022 Try admitting your mistakes and teaching kids that everyone is human -- you’ll improve relationships and reduce stress, big time!

This article originally appeared on ImpactADHD.com and is reproduced with permission.

Tired of feeling like you have to be perfect all the time in front of your kids? Watch this video:

 The video is with Elaine Taylor-Klaus & Diane Dempster — co-founders of ImpactADHD.com.

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Should you admit your mistakes to your kids? It’s the age-old parenting question!

Elaine:
So, a lot of times we have families that struggle with making it okay to make mistakes. Right? They create this environment, maybe it’s perfectionism, maybe it’s anxiety, maybe it could be a lot of different things. It’s, “This is what I should be doing as a parent.” There are a lot of things that can motivate it.

I was just talking to a parent in a group coaching call the other day who was really struggling with some issues with a kid, and it became really clear when the kid said to her, “Well, you’re perfect. What does it matter to you?” Actually it wasn’t a group call, it was an office hours call. And the mom’s like, “I’m not perfect.” But there was something this mom was doing that created an environment-

Diane:
Where the kid felt like they needed to be perfect.

Elaine:
That anything other than perfect wasn’t okay.

Diane:
Part of that is being really transparent. A lot of times our kids don’t see our mistakes because we don’t want to admit them to ourselves, so we don’t even say anything about it. Mistakes are a normal part of life. Sorry, they are. Your relationship with mistakes, for yourself, is going to directly reflect your kids’ ability to learn from their own mistakes.

Elaine:
Right. So really, really taking the time to think about how you’re handling mistakes. In coaching we tend to call it failing forward. What worked, what didn’t work, what do you want to do differently, is a great strategy around it. The magic three questions. But to really look in terms of creating an environment that allows for mistakes to be a normal part of life without making kids wrong for it. And that’s the key, is to be able to make a mistake without being wrong.

Diane:
It’s okay to be human.

Elaine:
It’s okay to be human. In fact, I like to call it: permission to be human, granted.

Parenting tips
It is important to let your child make mistakes too.

Not only is it okay to admit your mistakes to your kids — it’s actually a really helpful idea to humanize yourself in their eyes.

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The author’s views are entirely his or her own and may not necessarily reflect the views of Blub Blub Inc. All content provided on this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for independent professional medical judgement, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.

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